Normally I would never post anything too personal, hahah you are laughing but its true however I have an issue. My wonderful husband last week told me he wished i was "softer". So i took that as constructive critisism and am trying to be softer, BUT i have no idea what that means. I am praying to become more "soft" but its hard to pray for something you have no idea what it is.
It cant be physically soft because i have enough soft puffy rolls for a football team. Emotionally, i feel I am tender and loving but the one thing about me that is different from other women is I dont cry. So if crying makes me soft well then i will never be soft.
I am all woman, i like pedicures, make-up, massages, getting dressed, doing my hair, gel, hairspray, jewlery..so in that regards i think i am soft.
I consider myself a very independent person who thinks for herself. Does that make me not soft? I am so confused. I ask him what he means by soft and he says, "you know soft".
Please for any of you reading this whether you know me or not, what in the world and how in the world can i become soft, and what does "soft" mean????????????
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3 comments:
Having more empathy.I think it has to do with how we were raised, which is why we are so tough and independent.If we had a complaint dad's response would be something like "that'll teach you" (jokingly) or mom would say "I'm sorry you feel that way", rather than "ohhh poor wittle baby, let me bake you some cookies and fix your boobo..."we were taught to just suck it up or fix it ourselves.Now that we have spouses it's hard not to have that attitude towards them.I have the SAME problem with AJ.I seem like a heartless jerk, but it's the only way I know how to respond to complaints.I have no tolerance for complaining or whining!But I think if we tried to show a little more empathy for their tender wittle feelings they would feel like we atleast cared, and that's all they want, not a solution.That's my 2 cents.
Ok, this is what I am thinking.. I am thinking that, not that this is a bad thing, but not to be so strong worded. I am not sure if that makes any sense. Maybe be a little more gentle with the words that you use instead of making everything into a debate, you know sometimes our guys think that they are always right:) Try to just let him say what he needs to say and then just let things be. I know that being independant is good, but maybe just being able to communicate where there isn't any who is right and who is wrong. I don't know, we should just talk cause I am not sure that I am making any sense. Lets just talk later!!!
Well Ang I can only say that I wish that I myself wasn't so soft! I admire your ability to be strong and independent, and it probably does have a lot to do with your upbringing which would explain why I am like the opposite of you. But I agree with the turning everything into a debate, sometimes guys just need to feel like they are right and that is that!
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